POSH
Self Harm & Suicide Warning Signs
Some signs are quiet, not obvious.
Knowing what to look for can help you act before it becomes a crisis.
Need urgent help right now?
If there is immediate danger, call 000 now
If you believe a child is at immediate risk of harming themselves, do not leave them alone while you get help.
Take it seriously early
EARLY SUPPORT CAN SAVE LIVES
Children and teens do not always say they are struggling directly.
Changes in behaviour, mood, sleep, secrecy, or communication can be early signals that something deeper is going on.
If something feels off, trust your instinct.
It is always better to check early than to wait and hope it passes on its own.
This is not about blame
Children who struggle are not weak.
Parents who miss early signs are not failures.
What matters most is recognising it and acting early
Warning signs parents should look for
- Sudden withdrawal from family and friends
- Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless, trapped, or like a burden
- Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
- Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
- Increased secrecy or isolation
- Strong emotional swings or unusual shutdown
- Giving away possessions or saying goodbye in unusual ways
- Talking about death, disappearing, or “not being here”
- Self-harm behaviours such as cuts, burns, or suddenly covering skin
- A sudden calm after intense distress
One sign alone may not mean crisis — but multiple signs together should never be brushed off.
Things children might say
- “I’m tired of everything.”
- “Nothing matters anymore.”
- “You’d be better off without me.”
- “I just want everything to stop.”
- “I don’t see the point anymore.”
- “I wish I could disappear.”
Even indirect comments should always be taken seriously.
Online factors that can increase risk
- Exposure to harmful content or self-harm normalisation
- Cyberbullying, humiliation, or social pressure
- Isolation through private chats, hidden groups, or secret accounts
- Emotional manipulation, control, or coercion by others
- Comparison culture and constant unrealistic expectations
- Late-night device use while distressed and alone
Online pressure can intensify shame, hopelessness, and isolation without parents seeing the full picture directly.
How risk can build
Stress, pressure, or emotional pain
↓
Withdrawal or isolation
↓
Negative thinking patterns
↓
Hopelessness or distress
↓
Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
Risk often grows quietly before it becomes obvious.
What parents should do immediately
- Stay calm and present
- Listen without interrupting, shaming, or debating
- Take every concern seriously
- Ask directly if they are okay or thinking about harming themselves
- Reduce immediate risks if needed
- Stay close and do not leave them alone if you are genuinely concerned
- Get professional support immediately
Asking directly does not “put the idea in their head” — it opens a door for honesty.
What not to do
- Do not dismiss it as attention-seeking
- Do not turn it into a punishment conversation
- Do not argue with their feelings
- Do not shame scars, injuries, or disclosures
- Do not assume silence means safety
A child who feels judged may shut down when they most need support.
Get help immediately
If you believe your child is in immediate danger, call emergency services.
You do not have to handle this alone.
Lifeline can also support parents and carers who are worried about someone and do not know what to do next.
Keep communication open
Children are more likely to speak when they feel safe, not judged.
Your presence, calmness, and support matter more than perfect words.
Key takeaway
Early signs matter.
Support early can prevent escalation.
You do not need all the answers — you just need to act