POSH
My Child Is Talking to a Stranger Online
Not every stranger is dangerous — but every conversation deserves awareness.
The goal is not panic. The goal is understanding the pattern.
Use this page if your child is chatting with someone they don’t know in real life.
Games, social media, Discord, Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, or group chats.
Early-stage risk page
STRANGER ≠ DANGER
PATTERN = RISK
Children talk to new people online every day.
The risk depends on how that contact develops.
The key question is not “Are they talking to someone?”
The better question is: “What is happening in that conversation?”
When it may be normal
- Talking to other players in games
- Commenting on videos or posts
- Group chats with peers
- Casual interaction without secrecy
Not all online contact is dangerous — context matters.
When it becomes a risk
- The conversation becomes private
- The person asks personal questions
- The person gives gifts, attention, or rewards
- The person asks to move to another app
- The person asks for secrecy
- The child becomes emotionally attached
- The child hides the conversation
The shift from public to private is the key moment
The contact pathway
Stranger contact
↓
Friendly chat
↓
Private conversation
↓
Secrecy or pressure
↓
Control or exploitation
Most risk situations follow a pattern — not a single moment
Warning signs to watch for
- Your child talks about someone but avoids details
- They hide screens or delete messages
- They become defensive when asked
- They feel pressure to reply quickly
- They receive gifts, Robux, or rewards
- They are asked to move apps
- They are told to keep secrets
The behaviour around the conversation matters more than the conversation itself
Questions to ask calmly
“Where did you meet them?”
“Do you know them in real life?”
“What do you usually talk about?”
“Have they asked you to move to another app?”
“Have they asked for personal information?”
“Do they make you feel pressured or uncomfortable?”
Ask to understand — not to interrogate
What parents should do
- Stay calm so your child keeps talking
- Understand how the contact started
- Look for movement to private apps
- Check for secrecy or pressure
- Set boundaries without panic
- Monitor changes in behaviour
Connection is your strongest protection tool
What not to do
- Do not immediately accuse or panic
- Do not shame your child
- Do not ban everything without explanation
- Do not ignore secrecy or emotional changes
Fear-based reactions can push contact underground
What to say first
“I’m not trying to get you in trouble — I just want to understand.”
“You can talk to people online, but we need to know it’s safe.”
“If someone asks you to keep secrets, that’s when I need to know.”
“You don’t owe anyone private access to you.”
Final POSH reminder
Strangers exist online
Most contact is harmless
Some contact becomes risky
The pattern reveals the danger
If the conversation becomes private, secret, or pressured — slow it down